The world 'is' because 'I' feel it!

A point in your life where you do not know what to do. Sinking into the moment, which you can not relate to. Deep thoughts troubling you, tormenting you with boredom and consuming you. Searching for inspiration you peep into every window. Lost in the reflection you just see the shadow of you! Standing in front of the windows you look for answers. What is it about reflections that entices you? A deep conjecture, would say so much about your shadow. The answer to every problem lies within you. You might search the whole world for answers, but have you explored the possibilities which lies within 'you'? The staggering belief is not a stab from the outside world. It is the dependency on others, which makes you vulnerable. The strongest of all believes in 'oneself', even if things go wrong they stand to face the consequences. Everyone has the urge to live, but how one lives depends so much on one's will!

As time passes, lot gets revealed. Your hesitations just reflect your comforts and self. The 'ifs' and 'buts' are just a way to get what you want. Under those mincing statements is a person who know what (s)he wants. It is hard to relate and appreciate what you think, its amazing how in this globalized world one choses to be in  a small zone. The limited perceptions just reflects on the mere possibilities, thinking what you have and seen is the ultimate thing. How can you have a new life, when you are confined within old walls? When you can't appreciate others, you will never get your due. Its strange how everyone thinks that their's is the best way, ultimate in every order and anyone not matching their thinking is insane. For the right to be appreciated, you need to appreciate. Wanting others to change, but can you  yourself change?

I look out the window, to get a glimpse of the world, A tall window revealing the outside view, As people pass-by I search for someone to relate to. Seasons change, people change but the window remains the same, but the search for someone continues. The urge to relate, the urge to connect, Is driven by the urge to find a known in the strange, A glimpse of the world is a part of you, which is turned on by depths within you, I search to find meaning, to find a soul, who is also lost in the tempest of the world's unknown, When I see the people and what they do, I wonder who will come and bail me through. Sometimes the window serves one to dream, sometimes it just happens to be! Sometimes it makes me search for some company, where I look outside for someone just like 'me'. Seeing the strange people, I try and seek familiarity- a person who can completely relate with me. But the stranger is hard to seek, as the apprehensions 'within' stops you to be 't...

Something so small, but not insignificant at all. Something new, teasing every sense in you. A feeling not comprehended by others, it is a sense that gets defined by you. Life becomes meaningful when you gain through your experiences. Not playing by the rules, hiding your fears you challenge to bring it all, Shaping you and making you., your experiences at times 'break you'. Choosing your path, you define your journey. Taking the blame of one's own action, supersedes the path chosen by others. For who has experienced will be calm and composed, holding the tempest within, absorbing things and using 'mind' more than the 'gob'. For everyone experiences, but it is ones attitude which determines what to make of those. Experiences might shape you, break you, but in the end how you take it defines you! 

A long relationship that tests you through and through. A blend of passion, resurrecting a conflicting mind too. Sometimes high, sometimes low, you test my patience when ever you want to. You are my interest, but sustaining this interest is no joke. You are the prime attraction of my life, which makes me run  away from 'you' and hide. No matter how much I try, the perfection does not please you. But somehow the small efforts that I take shapes the beautiful you. You are my thoughts, but I've to  refer others to understand the complex 'you'. Somehow whatever I do, doesn't seem to satisfy you. You haunt me like a bad dream, but sometimes your thoughts elate me too. As days come nearer I dread leaving you, Afraid of the vacuum which will occur, when I complete you. My love, my fame, my interest, my struggles.... you ought to be brave if you finish your Ph.D completely sane. I have always been sacred of commitments, but the commitment to write  you, ...

Our bond is strong and has nurtured enduring all. We have reached that level, where words don’t matter, and expressions and silence says it all. A bond which is forever- a bond so strong, You are one of my strongest  supports of all. Our friendship is over a decade old, but our concerns for each other never halts. Your achievements are my very own and your problem(s) consume me through. No matter how far we are or how less we talk, we have been there for each other and there are countless incidents which proves it all. You know me through and through, and my doubts are nothing new to you. The missing pieces of my life are found by you. A friend, a confidante, a source of endless support... I don’t know how to comprehend such gestures- which you offer. You are to me the most precious of all. Our friendship is extraordinary which rests on something strong. Making us the best companions and   dear mates-- who are the perfect  ‘soulmates’. A m...

For some, running is life, passion, motivation, therapy or test. But for me running proved to be a teacher! It taught me a lesson which I had failed to comprehend in my life, earlier.  My maiden half marathon was indeed an eye opening experience. It not only helped me reflect on myself, but also helped me explore some important things in life, that we tend to ignore. A test of endurance persistent and self, running has more to it. Long distance running, I can easily say resembles ‘life’- which we live. The start of the race would reflect the birth and the younger years of a human, depicting energy and impatience, with throbbing urge to run past everyone and reach the goal, lest realising that the journey is long and one needs to show patience and consistency. The youth depicts the middle of the race, where your body heats up and adjusts to the run. You ignore the little signs of wear and tear, and push yourself to keep pace with the run. Ignoring the aches in your body- aggravati...

In the beginning everything is raw, the condiments seem strange and everything seems flawed. Step by step, you deal with the spices- heating, churning, grating it together; to bring out the required taste to suit your sense(s). A dash of spices mixed with something sweet, a blend  conflicting in nature brings out the bold streak. A little bit hot, a little bit cold, teasing your senses but satisfying you whole. Heating with perfection, where every step needs utmost care and consideration, Anything more or less can hamper the taste, overcooking can assault the dish's fate. The fragmented ingredient now become a meaningful paste (masala), The final stage is about adding everything together and consummating the items, blending it to complete perfection. Cooking is an art, which reflects so much about life. Where passions, care, techniques, understandings and timings suggests you 'treat' everything right. The fusion in the dishes, marks the fusions in li...

Dreams are rare, as it only comes to those who dare. For everyone dreams, but it takes a lot to have the same dreams and struggle to realise it and fare. Challenging and testing 'thyself', when you are beyond your comfort zone. Having a dream is easy, but 'sticking' to it is greatest of all.  As passions do not come easy and it takes the toughest to fight for one's belief. Dreams may be crazy, but they are completely 'yours'. Something close to you, defining your self which needs protecting from 'All'. Dreams need perseverance, a deep conviction- pushing you towards your goal, when every bone inside of you claims to halt. Securing it from 'others' ridicules, testing your strengths to claim it all. Dreams demand honesty- being completely true to thyself. Cheating others is easy, for you would be a 'weakling' if you fool your own self. Something inside of you, which keeps you awake, is something that you were m...

Gazing at the stars, I sip my wine. Thinking about the future and contemplating my mind. A deep dark fear, to hear the untold. Apprehensions overwhelming and I feel intimidated to unravel the unknown. A free spirited person,  without any reins, Not liked to be stopped, by anyone- 'surrendering would be a pain'. But something within me, tells me to be calm, The tempest is momentary without any harm. For you have been sincere and  always try to be a good soul. With 'good' people around you, and their prayers and earnest hopes. Just be the 'same' and not 'insane'. You have done 'good' and 'good' should be in your future frame. Seize the apprehensions and enjoy the moment; believe in Karma to predict the untold.

The haphazard life, the rush to make some sense. The obsession to prove- in order to pacify your insecure soul. Makes you miss the small things that matter the most. The pleasure of being with a true soul gets lost in the need to secure your 'old'. Some joys are the joys untold- just feeling sincerely the things that matter the most. Companionship with quality  grow silently and matures. A calm sense prevailing over, releasing oneself from shackles of pretending and appreciating the simplicity spread over. Feeling each other, feeling the world, feeling the sense invigorating within- helping you grow from what you were. Feel the companionship in order to feel alive. No matter how much understated 'feelings' are, they have so much in stored. I strongly feel that -feelings have power, feelings have strength. When rightly used they can  never be wrong.  (So just feel things)

When you truly love someone, you are just scared to move too fast or slow. You just step back to absorb, every bit that happens and goes, Feel the air, the night, the path, , the walk....the sense of being with the person, who feels absolutely right for you. You just halt, scared to make a move as you can loose the one who is deep within you. Too much is at stake, and this certainly isn't what you want to loose. A wrong move and everything will screw. Your heart belongs to 'Her', but you are with someone 'New'. Time never overshadowed the love you knew, it just matured with age and grew. Being in love with this person is not new to you- it is what you have always known,  and what you will always do!

The smallest gestures duly getting unnoticed are sometimes the biggest source. Beyond symbols and illustrations, 'words' predisposes innumerable situations. For a being relying on actions, words too hold high relevance. For the source of these words legitimizes the prayers to comfort the struggling soul. It is these words that have led me through, helping me overcome the toughest patch, and I owe it all to YOU. Saved as messages, I revert to them- when all hope is lost, I surrender to those uplifting sentences. These words of encouragement and appreciations kept me sane. Even though I claim to be my own savior, I reverted to them time and again, For these have put the humble 'me', on the highest stands. Honoring these words, I make numerous attempts to fulfill these claims. However simple it may seem, but these words do matter. A gentle reminder to use them with discretion- as these simplest of  words can strike the deepest sensations. This poem is ded...

You make taller goals to overcome your empty soul. You keep busy helping others, in order to divert from the empty hole. Extending goodness, in order to bring a deeper sense. There is something about you that serves as food to my conjecturing. Unraveling the smile, I get a deeper sense. Your aim to help 'others', is a way of healing 'thyself'!

Afraid of the dark or afraid to be alone? What is that repulses you from your own self? By critiquing others, you just disturb the peace in your soul. Where ever you are, you are never home. The unrest in your life, is nothing but a manifestation of the discomfort with self, making you your biggest foe. Accepting your self  is even important than accepting defeat. For as, accepting everything else would be easy if you accept 'thee'. A gentle reminder of who you are, not for others but for very own. Negative comes easy, when you don't know 'who you are'. Ignoring the simple things, you create a ruckus for things that are very far. Struggling to be sane, you choose not to change. Lest realizing your fight is with 'you', and everything else needs to the same. A weak self will always be weak, doubting their fellow wherever they go. A strong self will be clear of all- humble in its approach, giving comfort to all. Your strengths and weaknesses a...

Not an obsession, not madness, it is just a submission of feeling so pure. Indulging in your thoughts brings solace to my tired soul. It’s strange how the distance never mattered, and somehow I managed to keep you forever in my soul. I failed to comprehend my feelings.  Impressions of you, in my head, never change. With a binding permission I look forward for conversations, even though I know  even though I know there is no where we will ever go. A distant dream, I have always cherished, nurturing your thoughts, I would always want to be there (for you). I can’t name the feelings that I have for you. You are a person who has secured a position in my heart, without doing any ‘due’. I might not be a true person, but when it comes to you, everything changes and my true feelings come through. To me you are star, far in the sky; doting admiration unfazed by the distance. I look at you and there is twinkle in my eyes. Only I know how precious you are t...

Looking at you, I feel bad and confused. Just because someone broke your heart, and now you are lost without a clue. Like a lost puppy you wander for care, outrunning your shadow you try and figure out who is there. You have turned into something which is just not ‘you’!  No matter how big or small- a loss is a loss! A wandering mind consuming your soul, your nasty dispositions and hatred- needs immediate attention and reflections. Just because you think you have lost it all, does not mean that the game is over. Just because one thing did not work out, does not mean you are not worthy at all. Let it not consume you and change you beyond recognition. Just remember, sometimes ‘ it is hardest to be sane’, when nothing seems the same. You are YOU, and you need to be discovered. Nobody can do it; it precisely has to be you. Don’t do something in impulse, which will let you down. Just put a strong face and go away from the present state, sometimes ru...

You are complicated, complication is you. The fear of failing and not being able to handle things, being judged and evaluated proves that you are living too. Fighting your fears and domination, you succumb to being a person- that is definitely is  not ‘YOU’. The smallest of things, that might seem redundant to others, matters to you. Is this because you try and follow others with aim of con-questing what pleases them- that it is a complication being you? You are a person with a unique self; that demands a fight over your fears and an ability to stand tall. I have deepest regards and admiration for people who deal with their issues gracefully and never let others get affected by their fall. People who don’t follow others, and stay persistent in their words through and through. Rectifying their mistakes and acknowledging them too. A brave sense- defining their strength in every way, Fighting their inhibitions and taking pride in being ‘them’, not wa...

Dealing with the pain and glowing with the faith, Following my mind and ready to take the blame, Making mistakes and learning tough lessons, has turned me into a person who will take time to be broken, What 'I' am is, what I choose to become. I know my needs and I know my means, I know where I want my life to lead, A sincere thanks to people who left me, and I turned into 'ME', But a heartfelt gratitude for all the people who stood by me, they made me feel strong and kept me sane through the journey. I chose my own path and I have no regrets, Ashamed of my mistakes, but an everlasting effort to not be trapped in the vicious circle, Storing the 'pain' to make me a stronger 'new', I make my own rules and I believe my heart, through-an-through. All this I do, in order to conquest my dream- A dream to be my own hero and look up to 'ME'!