The world 'is' because 'I' feel it!

Sitting on the chair, a doting laptop and some songs that bring music to your ears. Making sense of what goes on and what renders you happiness, trying to be happy when nothing that you do reflects your name. Watching life go by, you think what is that makes you tick? Flashback brings you memories that suggest that you have lived life. Wanting to have that life, you struggle and work hard, but nothing comes out that eases the pain. You try to surrender, but its not easy giving up, as that is the thing that brings you some sense. Not waiting for  a miracle, but trying to work hard to get what you deserve. Once in a while you just give up, coz you know that there is nothing more than you can do but stare in the blank space to see your fate!

Talk with depth and meaning are conversations, some words which are valuable to you. Not everyone can relate to what you have to say, but if someone does that reflects a deep mental connection with that person and you. Not fake and superficial, but an honest submission. Discussions which not just instigate you to think, but question you in so many views.  Reflecting you state of mind and thinking, is not something which you can have with everyone you know. There are few people with whom you have intense and meaningful conversations. Losing them would mean a big loss to you. Consciously -unconsciously, you tend to unfold the deep depths of life with someone you can converse to. The craving to unfold in a relaxed manner made has me value real conversations too. Those couple of minutes of intense conversations can mean the world to you. Reaching out to people with whom you can have concrete conversations, means not just exploring the depths of the world, but...

A point in your life where you do not know what to do. Sinking into the moment, which you can not relate to. Deep thoughts troubling you, tormenting you with boredom and consuming you. Searching for inspiration you peep into every window. Lost in the reflection you just see the shadow of you! Standing in front of the windows you look for answers. What is it about reflections that entices you? A deep conjecture, would say so much about your shadow. The answer to every problem lies within you. You might search the whole world for answers, but have you explored the possibilities which lies within 'you'? The staggering belief is not a stab from the outside world. It is the dependency on others, which makes you vulnerable. The strongest of all believes in 'oneself', even if things go wrong they stand to face the consequences. Everyone has the urge to live, but how one lives depends so much on one's will!

As time passes, lot gets revealed. Your hesitations just reflect your comforts and self. The 'ifs' and 'buts' are just a way to get what you want. Under those mincing statements is a person who know what (s)he wants. It is hard to relate and appreciate what you think, its amazing how in this globalized world one choses to be in  a small zone. The limited perceptions just reflects on the mere possibilities, thinking what you have and seen is the ultimate thing. How can you have a new life, when you are confined within old walls? When you can't appreciate others, you will never get your due. Its strange how everyone thinks that their's is the best way, ultimate in every order and anyone not matching their thinking is insane. For the right to be appreciated, you need to appreciate. Wanting others to change, but can you  yourself change?

I look out the window, to get a glimpse of the world, A tall window revealing the outside view, As people pass-by I search for someone to relate to. Seasons change, people change but the window remains the same, but the search for someone continues. The urge to relate, the urge to connect, Is driven by the urge to find a known in the strange, A glimpse of the world is a part of you, which is turned on by depths within you, I search to find meaning, to find a soul, who is also lost in the tempest of the world's unknown, When I see the people and what they do, I wonder who will come and bail me through. Sometimes the window serves one to dream, sometimes it just happens to be! Sometimes it makes me search for some company, where I look outside for someone just like 'me'. Seeing the strange people, I try and seek familiarity- a person who can completely relate with me. But the stranger is hard to seek, as the apprehensions 'within' stops you to be 't...

Something so small, but not insignificant at all. Something new, teasing every sense in you. A feeling not comprehended by others, it is a sense that gets defined by you. Life becomes meaningful when you gain through your experiences. Not playing by the rules, hiding your fears you challenge to bring it all, Shaping you and making you., your experiences at times 'break you'. Choosing your path, you define your journey. Taking the blame of one's own action, supersedes the path chosen by others. For who has experienced will be calm and composed, holding the tempest within, absorbing things and using 'mind' more than the 'gob'. For everyone experiences, but it is ones attitude which determines what to make of those. Experiences might shape you, break you, but in the end how you take it defines you! 

A long relationship that tests you through and through. A blend of passion, resurrecting a conflicting mind too. Sometimes high, sometimes low, you test my patience when ever you want to. You are my interest, but sustaining this interest is no joke. You are the prime attraction of my life, which makes me run  away from 'you' and hide. No matter how much I try, the perfection does not please you. But somehow the small efforts that I take shapes the beautiful you. You are my thoughts, but I've to  refer others to understand the complex 'you'. Somehow whatever I do, doesn't seem to satisfy you. You haunt me like a bad dream, but sometimes your thoughts elate me too. As days come nearer I dread leaving you, Afraid of the vacuum which will occur, when I complete you. My love, my fame, my interest, my struggles.... you ought to be brave if you finish your Ph.D completely sane. I have always been sacred of commitments, but the commitment to write  you, ...